Penny Thoughts: Love is...Considerate
If you think about it, it's when you are inconsiderate that you can be most unloving. You lose regard for others and you focus on yourself. At those times you tend to release thoughtless, hurtful words and you act in offensive ways. A lack of consideration is a lack of love because the lack of consideration is a sign of self-centredness or plainly, selfishness. Love, if it is to be real and sincere, must be considerate.
Love is considerate. It takes careful thought, especially around loved ones.
It's not a matter of remaining guarded and unable to speak nor act freely when you're with your spouse or family. It's about affording them politeness and courtesy in the way you speak and relate towards them. Why can you be at your best behaviour outside yet be rude and impatient with loved ones in the comforts of your own home? Yes, family members must be understanding and accepting of you but why remove their right to civility and endearment? Besides, shouldn't your loved ones be primary in experiencing the best of you?
Love is considerate. It is sensitive and mindful of the state of others.
To be considerate is to be gentle towards a loved one at their lowest points. To be considerate is to release your spouse or family from obligations when they are unable to meet such. To be considerate is to be patient with their failings. To be considerate is to be willing to show understanding in the midst of offenses. Without condoning or tolerating wrong behavior, consideration bears in mind where they are coming from and why they say or do things in such a manner.
Love is considerate. It gives way. It is ready to yield when there is a need to do so.
For the considerate, he doesn't have to be right all the time. For the considerate, it's cool not having your way all the time. To the considerate, it's not always "me first". The considerate knows when it is wise to compromise. The considerate knows when it is right to agreeably disagree. The considerate can discern the right moments to give in to the wishes of others. The considerate is comfortable with giving room for the plans of others even if he may not agree with the methods or purposes. The considerate doesn't lord it over others. He knows the value of letting others grow and learn from their own decisions and actions.
---photo credit to deflyne
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